Eastside Region Sweet 16

#1 The Point versus #4 Cozy Corner

The Match-up:

To celebrate their big first round upset,
the Cozy popped bottles of Boone's Farm,
duct-taped them to their hands,
donned their Hammer Pants,
and turned Jamboree Foods into
Jamboree in the (Ghetto) Hills.


What the Blogosphere says:

On Byesville.com, zeroforseven@nojump.com wrote:

“East Wheeling Avenue battles West Wheeling Avenue!
Two-for-One Steak Night battles Two-for-One Shank Night!
Park School battles Lincoln School!
This is like the frickin’ Karatebridge Kid,
with Gumie-san facing off against the Cobra Khan,
under the watchful eye of Sensei Art Clemens.

"Put him in a body bag, Jerome!"

#3 Theo’s versus #7 Courthouse Café

The Match-up:

It is a little known fact that within the original
Northwest Ordinance of 1787, it is explicitly stated that
there must be a bar no less than 50 feet from the entrance
to all municipal buildings. This explains why the new
municipal court is being built so close to The Point.
This law was designed by President Thomas Jefferson
to ease the pain of leather-pants-wearing-mofos
after they get “Judge Slapped” by the Hanging Judge.

"Nice shot Dustin!"

What the Blogosphere says:

On chow.com, kneehighsocks@recspecs.com wrote:

“The ‘Courthouse Café?’
Wasn’t that slang for getting late-night
Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers from Wendy's,
eating them on the benches in front of the Courthouse,
and then throwing our trash in Gene’s shitty little lawn?”


What Shawn Kemp says:

“I’m like a black Bill Brasky.
I’ve sired a baseball team,
the Southeastern Ohio Symphony
if you count the bastards!”