Sunday, May 16, 2010

Results from the Barrett Hill Road Region



#1 Shakers Nite Club 77
#8 Silver Eagle 55


The Silver Eagle was like a gigantic alcoholic pigeon
that nested near downtown Cambridge.
Every weekend, it would swoop down
and poop on Wheeling Avenue's head.
And didn't it used to be a Male Stripclub?
Yikes! I bet Double Decker & Snaggletooth
used to roll into that joint like those two English
bitches on Absolutely Fabulous.


#4 Buffalo Grill 96
#5 Crossroads Tavern 77


The Battle of South Guernsey Country turned out to be less like
OU vs. Georgetown and more like OU vs. Tennessee.
While the [other] Bobcats were left wondering how to
stop the bum bleeding, I was left wondering;
‘How did Mr. Weiss get hired as an
Ohio University Assistant Basketball Coach?”

#3 Liberty’s 55
#6 Deep Cut Tavern 77


Give me Coors Lite, or give me death!
I liked getting 'Days Inn-Faced' at Southgate Parkway’s
version of the MGM Grand more when it was an Absinthe Bar.
(Remember THAT? I'm dreaming of a Green Christmas!)
But while boozing at Liberty’s, I did create a fun WNBA
drinking game; every time some bull-dyking-ass-bitch
shoots a lay-up, you do a shot of “Pat” Daniels!


#2 Market House Inn 64
#7 Bud’s Pub 51


The Market House Inn wins big over the Out House Inn.
The Market House has homemade fettuccine noodles,
Bud’s Pub has a homemade sign.
The Market House has a bar tending machine,
Bud's Pub has a bottle opening machine: Bud's teeth.
The Market House is modeled after
the oldest operating riverside pub in England;
Bud’s Pub is modeled after Bud’s house.

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