Cambridge Bar Brawl Bracket Honorable Mentions (Part III):

Most Impressive Selection of Ohio Beers:

Theo’s
(Columbus Pale Ale, Cleveland’s
Great Lakes Eliot Ness, & Akron’s Thirsty Dog)



Bar Name that Most Reminds Me of Mikeways:

Ye Olde Falls Inn in Zanesville



Best Hanging Taxidermy:

The Muddy Misers

Best Non-Hanging Taxidermy:

The Chronic’s Den

Most Awesome Thing to Say about Creekside Cafe:

“I had my first date there!”

[Technically it was still Brighton’s Ice Cream Parlor,
where Cassie & I shared a delightful dinner.
Jetia & I never really went on “dates”]



Best Shitter:

The Holiday Inn



Best Shitter for Ankle to Trash
on Bert’s Birthday Bar Crawl:

The Long Branch



Strangest Food Item on Any Menu
in Southeastern Ohio:

$1.50 Goose Liver Sandwich at Terry’s Tavern in Zanesville




Best Food Special Now That the Spirit Lounge
No Longer Offers $2 Creamed Chicken
Sandwich Wednesday Nights:

The Park Circle’s .45 cent wings and
$1.00 Draft Beers on Thursday Night



Best NBA paraphernalia:

The autographed Kevin Martin jersey
and the decorative Houston Rockets
Terrible Towel in Terry’s Tavern in Zanesville

[Terrible Towel?

I thought that was Yao Ming’s Spunk Rag?]

Gumie’s Original Aurora:

The Long Branch



Cambridge Bar That Would Be Filled with
Annoying Hipsters If It Were Located
in Williamsburg, Brooklyn:

Bud’s Pub



Last NYCtown Bar:

Habana Outpost in Fort Greene



Best Story from the Last NYCtown:

The King of Dubai’s bankrolling
Ethan and Ari’s move to Miami



Best Text Sent to Bert While Chronic & I
were getting ‘State-Faced’ at the
Geisen Haus in North Canton:

“We’re hammered and heading towards Berlin.
Can’t wait to meet Alex & Kelly, Jr.”



Worst Mental Image Discussed While
Chronic & I were getting ‘State-Faced’
at the Geisen Haus in North Canton:

Zydrunas Ilgauskas taking his “talents” to
South Beach in a Lithuanian Flag speedo



Most Iconic Food Item in Old Washington:

Deep Cut’s Deep Fried Hamburger

Most Iconic Food Item in Byesville:

Buffalo Bar & Grill’s King Frouk



Most Iconic Food Item in Cambridge:

Theo’s Famous Coney Island Hot Dog for $1.25
[Grated Cheddar cheese, cole slaw,
or extra sauce .25 cents each]



Best Bar View of Any Bar in Southeastern Ohio:

The back patio overlooking the Muskingum River
at Terry’s Tavern in Zanesville

Worst Bar View:

The gigantic pair of skanky thighs that Gumie & I
recently saw upon walking into the Park Circle



Best Comparison that I wasn’t able to use on the Blog:

Theo’s is to the CPAC Theater what NYC’s
Russian Tea Room is to Carnegie Hall.

Worst Comparison that I wasn’t able to use on the Blog:

Creekside Café is like Quark’s bar on the
Promenade of Deep Space Nine, where
Ferengi used to sell Rum and Slugo-Cola.



Best Bar Memorabilia Involving a Character from Star Trek:

Drunken Spock at the Weasel Boy Brewery in Zanesville